Not a midlife crisis!

Not A
Mid-life
Crisis! 

The world has become obsessed with age. Too young, too old, almost past it!

But who says that age is so important? And why?

What's the right age to start having sex? And when is it too old to want it? And how come you can never get enough between the two points?

Have we become obsessed by youth? Look around and tell me the average age of the Ad-Girls and -Boys. Or their models. Where are the older representatives?

No one wants to see where they're going, only where they've been. That's the thing.


I'm as bad as all the others. (Are you?) When I was young-er, I was quite vane. My hair teeth and complexion were all more important to me than anything. Smart suits, good shoes, impressive ties, sensible hair. That's who I was: Mr GQ. A god in a silk shirt.

Even my politics had a brand: true-blue Conservatism. (I aspired to be The New Statesman -the right honourable Alan B'stard MP -played by Rik Mayall.) My arrogance didn't quite reach the levels that Rik's alta ego reached, but I came close.
 

.: New Statesman title card :.
by @  Wikipedia.

However, life has a way of kicking you in the pants when you get too arrogant. And so it knocked me on my ass and out of my GQ phase.

I grew my hair long, sported an unkempt beard and lost all my self confidence. And as a result went looking for God. (And me being me, I didn't just find one, I found several.)

I'm compulsive and obsessive by nature and add that to a search for spirituality, and naturally I had to take it too far. My search put me on a path to the church -I wanted to serve the big G. I took courses at a local Methodist college on Pastoral Care and Islam and fell-out with the Christian faith.

I turned to Judaism, considered Islam and finally fell for Paganism. (Only because the latter didn't restrict my growing compulsion for anarchy.)

The arrogance of youth has been tempered by age but not fully extinguished. My arrogance these days connect to speaking my mind and looking how I please.

Over the past two years my hair has been all the colours of the colours of the rainbow and a few others: I was Goth with half-black and half-white. I hit emo with spiked pastel and vibrant hues. And finally, went retro with a punk half-Mohawk (which I currently sport), that changes colour once a month.

I do like to grab attention! Lol !!

Then, the other day someone asked me if I was having a mid-life crisis. I'm not having a mid-life anything! (I don't class almost 47 as mid-life.) Inside I’m still 18.

After I expounded how wrong she was, she walked awake nodding and muttering, "Thought as much!"

I don't care what anyone says, I'm not having a mid-life crisis. Inside I'm still young, arrogant and vane!